Perfection

One of my current favorite people who have been bringing, inspiration, knowledge and truth into my life has been the research professor Brene Brown, fabulous author of many books including The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isnt), blog writer, and gives excellent lectures (here is 2 of her TEDtalks on vulnerability and shame).

Here are some things I have learned from her specifically about perfection and let me just say this "My name is Kim and I am a recovering perfectionist" not to say I was ever perfect but I strived to be what I thought was perfect and all it brought me was lots of misery, anxiety, and self hate. I love the research she has done on this topic.

• Perfection is impossible, yet many people still spend time and energy trying to attain it
• We are drawn to people who are real and down-to-earth, not people who are perfect. We love authenticity and we know that life is messy and imperfect.
• Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, we can avoid the pain of blame and judgment. Brene says "Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame"
• All people need love and belonging

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The greatest challenge for most of us is believing that we are worthy now, right this minute. Worthiness doesn't have prerequisites. So many of us have created a long list of worthiness prerequisites:

• I'll be worthy when I lose 20 pounds
• I'll be worthy if I can get pregnant
• I'll be worthy if I get/stay sober
• I'll be worthy if everyone thinks I'm a good parent/friend/lover
• I'll be worthy if I can hold my marriage together
• I'll be worthy when I make partner
• I'll be worthy when my parents finally approve
• I'll be worthy when I can do it all and look like I'm not even trying


Brene Brown

She encourages us to be courageous and let go of "What will people think?" to "I am enough RIGHT NOW".

The root of the word courage is cor which is the Latin word for heart. This definition has changed its meaning over the years and now is more synonymous with being heroic. It originally meant to speak one's mind by telling all one's heart. She says although we need heroes, what really is courageous is being able to speak honestly and openly about who we are and what we are feeling and about our experiences both good or bad. 

I love that she has started this movement of "from perfection TOWARD COURAGE".

 

Hanuman story time

There are many beautiful myths around the monkey God Hanuman. Here is one.

Being the child of the God of Wind Hanuman was born with many gifts. He was very mischievous when a youngster, one time mistaking the sun for a orange Hanuman leaped toward to sky to take a bite, the other Gods knew how much chaos would be created if Hanuman ate the moon so they prayed to Lord Brahma to find a solution. Brahma decided to put a curse on Hanuman to protect the world from his mischief by removing his knowledge of his powers. Note that he didn't remove Hanumans powers he just made him forget he had them. One of his powers is becoming very big and strong. However the only way this power is available to him, post curse, is if he or someone else (normally his friend Jambavant) reminds him of his powers.

When Hanuman was older he became a dedicated server of Lord Ram. A demon named Ravana kidnapped Rams wife Seeta and Hanuman volunteered to go after Ravana and bring Ram's beloved Seeta back. Hanuman chased Ravana to the edge of a vast ocean and then lost Ravana’s trail. Hanuman was defeated and there is page after page in the Ramayana of Hanuman’s thoughts, about how he let down Ram, how he can not do anything right, about how disappointment he was…. Then his little friend Jamabavant somewhat elbows Hanuman and reminds him of his power, of his past victories, of his strength. As Hanuman remembers he comes into integration and with this confidence gets big and strong and he leaps over the ocean.

Hanuman is my favorite Dieties. I absolutely love that in his adolesence he was machivious but as her grew up he found faith and devotion in Ram. I also enjoy this story because even Gods can feel defeated and even Gods need to be reminded of their greatness.

(picture resource: hariharji.blogspot.com)

Juice and Smoothie Recipes

During my juicing moon (like honey moon but when I started drinking lots of juice and smoothies) I collected a ton of recipes from friends, books, websites, my experiments. I found these recipes really helpful when I was starting out and to give me ideas. Now however I just pick a variety of veggies from my fridge and through them  in my juicer and drink up. I feel like a chemist when I am concocting a nourishing treat for myself. So let these inspire you. The longer that I have been juicing the more I cut back on fruit so I dont drink as much sugar and to keep my juicer from getting as sticky. Hope you enjoy these and get your juice buzzz on. I highlighted some of my favorites.

Succulent Smoothies: make sure you use lots of purified water or coconut water to get these juices liquidy and smooth, water amount varies use your guessstimator.

Green-a-licious
2 cups spinach
1/2 cucumber
1/4 head of celery
1/2 bunch parsley
1 bunch mint
3 carrots
2 apples
1/4 orange
1/4 lime
1/4 lemon
1/4 pineapple

Alkaline Green Smoothie
yield- 1 smoothie approx 12-16oz
6″ piece of cucumber
3 medium Kale leaves, torn
5 stems fresh mint
3 stems fresh parsley
1″ piece fresh ginger
1 avocado
1 lime juiced
1-2 tbsp hemp seeds
2-3 drops stevia or a tsp of agave

Kale and Banana Smoothie
2 bananas
2 tablespoons hulled hemp seed
1 bag of frozen blue berries
5 leafs of kale

Arugula Lettuce and Pear
1 banana
2-3 pears
2 tablespoons hulled hemp seed
1 bag of frozen raspberries
small bunch of arugula lettuce leafs
Liquid stevia to taste

Dandelion and Apple Smoothie
1 bunch dandelion greens
1 lemon (peeled)
2 large apples
1 banana
2 teaspoons flax seeds (optional)Spring or distilled water
1 banana (optional for more creamy goodness)
1 bunch spinach (optional)

Carrot Ginger Smoothie
1 bunch of carrots with some of its greens
1 avocado
1/2 lemon
~1/3 inch fresh ginger
Pinch of sea salt and cayenne pepper

GO TO GREEN SMOOTHIE
1 avocado
fresh mint
1 cucumber
handfuls of of kale
stevia to taste

Hail Mary! Veggie Elixir

2-3 large tomatoes
4 tomatillos
2 celery stalks
1 carrot
1 clove garlic
1/4 small onion
2 bell peppers
2 jalapeno peppers
other peppers as you like (Korean, Anaheim and even Habanero..)
 bunch cilantro
cabbage (optional, I love purple)

Sexy Shamrockin’ Shake

1/2 frozen banana
1 cup baby spinach leaves
2 drops best-quality vanilla extract
2-3 drops peppermint extract

Creamy Green Smoothie
handful of baby spinach
1/2 ripe avocado (want it more creamy?  add the whole avocado)
1/2 banana
1/2 lime
handful of ice

The Anti-Green Veggie Smoothie

1 yellow pepper (organic)
1 large tomato
1 cup cauliflower
1/2 cup lentils (cooked or sprouted)
2 large carrots
1 apple
1/2 avocado

Greenness Goodness
2 cups spinach
1/2 cucumber
1/4 head of celery

1/2 bunch parsley

1 bunch mint

3 carrots

2 apples

1/4 orange

1/4 lime

1/4 lemon

1/4 pineapple

FRUITE SMOOTHIES

Sun-Swept Daiquiri
2 apples juiced 1-2 oranges juiced or 2-inch slice of pineapple
2-3 dates (seeds removed) 5-6 strawberries
2 apples (peel and cut into small pieces) 3-4 dates (seeds removed)
1 frozen banana 1 papaya (peel and remove seeds)
1/2 cup blueberries (frozen or fresh) 1 frozen banana

Instant Energizer
1-2 oranges juiced
2-3 frozen bananas
2-3 strawberries
1-2 oranges juiced
2 frozen bananas
3-6 frozen bananas strawberries
3-4 dates (seeds removed)

Sumptuous Shake
2 oranges
1-2 frozen bananas
2 peaches
1/2 papaya (peel and remove seeds)
5-6 strawberries

Berry Bomber
2 frozen bananas
1 cup watermelon juice
1 cup raspberries

 

VEGGIE Juiciness Juices:

Beet-licious
1 whole beet including greens
1-2 inches of ginger
2 cucumbers

Amy’s Favorite Daily Recipe

1 head romaine
1/4 head kale
1/2 cucumber
3 celery stalks
1 green apple
1 small lemon
1 inch ginger
1 burdock root (optional)
1 inch fresh tumeric root (optional)

Make Juice Not War Green Drink

2 large cucumbers (peeled if not organic)
big fistful of kale
big fistful of sweet pea sprouts
4 – 5 stalks celery
1 – 2 big broccoli stems
1 pear or green apple (optional)
1 inch of ginger (or less)

Green Ginger Ale
1 cucumber
few stems each of mint & parsley
2 leaves of kale
1/2 in piece of ginger
1 lemon peeled

Morning Glorious
1 large cucumber
A fistful kale
A fistful romaine
2 or 3 stalks celery
1 big broccoli stem
1 green apple, quartered
1/2 peeled lemon, quartered

 

Green Lemonade
1 apple (may leave out if you wish for no sweetness)
1 lemon peeled
3/4 large English cucumber or one small
2 large kale leaves

Green Turmeric Lemonade

2 small cucumbers or 1 large
3 handfuls of baby spinach
3 stalks of celery
1 head of Romaine Lettuce (optional)
1 small lemon or half a large lemon
1 green apple or pear
1 inch of fresh turmeric (optional)
 

Eye Operner
1 handful of kale
Big handful of spinach
1 carrot (with greens is avalible)
1 grapefruit

Green Leprechaun
1 green apple
1/2 pink grapefruit
1/3 bunch fresh spinach
3/4 large English cucumber or one small
1/2 inch piece fresh ginger
1 stalk celery

 

Refresher
3 stalks celery
2 cucumbers
1 apple
1 chunk fresh ginger
1 cup fresh spinach

Pear-Apple Blend
1 pear
1 apple
2-3 apples 1/4 lemon
2 lettuce leaves

Mean Green Juice
1 head of celery
1 cucumber
3-4 apples
3 swiss chard leaves
6 dinosaur kale leaves
4-6 red  kale leaves
1/2 bunch of parsley
1 lemon
ginger (1 inch)
turmeric (1 inch or more)

C’s
cabbage
carrot
cucumber

Green Lemon-Aid:
2 apples
3-6 celery stalks
1-2 inches of fresh ginger (optional, but delicious!)
1/2- 1 peeled lemon 3-8 leaves of kale

Virgin AppleTini:
2 apples
2 leaves of kale
1-2 celery stalks
1/2 a cucumber)
1/2 a beet (peel if it’s not organic)
1/4 lemon OR 1 inch ginger (optional, if you like a little zing)

 

Fruit Juice Combos: (I tend to not like juicing fruit becuase it gets my juicer sticky and hard to clean)

Citrus Swizzle Treetop Tantalizer
2 peach
2 pear
2 apple
1 orange
1-inch slice of pineapple

Succulent Spray A Bizarre Bunch
2 apples
1 medium bunch of grapes
1/2 grapefruit
1 cup of cranberries
1-inch slice of pineapple

Koala Punch Citrus Explosion
1 orange
1/2 grapefruit
3 kiwis 1 orange
1 medium bunch of grapes
1/4 lemon with peel

Luscious Elixir Grapple Twist
1 orange 1 medium bunch of grapes
1/4 grapefruit
3 apples
6-8 strawberries
1/4 lemon

Island Blend Florida vs. Georgia Juice
1-inch slice of pineapple
2 oranges
1/2 cup of raspberries
1 peach
1 orange

Strawberry Swizzle Melon Tang
1 large bunch of grapes
1/4 honeydew melon
6-8 strawberries
1/4 lime

Tangy Spray Zesty Quencher
1 medium bunch of grapes
3-4 apples
3 tangerines
1/4 lemon
1-inch slice of pineapple

Apple Treat Succulent Snap
3 apples 1 apple
6-8 strawberries
1/4 grapefruit
1”slice of pineapple
1/8 lemon

 Cool Cocktail
2 apples
1 cup of cranberries
3 apples

Snappy Blend Apple Delight
2 medium bunches of grapes
2 apples
2 handfuls of cherries
1/2 pomegranate

Coverings

Salt Lake City, Utah has been in an inversion for the past few days. Although instead of heart being below the hips in yoga posture inversions, this inversion is cold air under warmer air. This enables the air molecules to stay trapped and cannot more or transfer heat. This also causes the pollutants, dirt, dust particles to stay trapped in the salt lake city valley unable to travel upward and out of the city leaving us with still and murky smog. All week I have been reminding myself the sun is out and shining even though I cant see it because the covering of smog is preventing me from seeing it is there. My husband and I drove up little cottonwood canyon and sure enough the dark and coldness from the inversion turned to bright, blue and warm sky's after we past through the covering of smog.

Seeing this covering of smog reminds me of the kancukas which can be translated to mean coverings that conceal the fullness of divine reality.  In Tantrik tradition the story goes that Shiva (God) all expanded "contracted himself down to a single point of absolute limitation, shedding his omnipotence, omniscience, and omnipresence completely. Then in order to manifest as an embodied sentient being, he equips himself with five limited capacities"

Limited power of action (kala) this does not mean powerlessness but rather limited power. "Kala also means a sliver of the moon ex. the amount that the moon grows in a single day. On the spiritual path, we are waxing from a mere sliver of divine power toward the total fullness of our capacity to express our innate divinity" (Wallis).

Limited power of knowledge (vidya) this is not ignorance. It is not that we know nothing, it that we know a little and think that's all there is to know.

Desire (rage) since we are essentially expanded consciousness but are being expressed as an individual we experience our self as incomplete and we desire something to feel more complete.

Time (kala) we are often burdened by our awareness of time happening sequentially creating past, present and future. This can feel us with regrets, worry, expectations and anxiety.

Causality (niyati) this binds us to our karmas meaning it ensures that we reap what we sow through our actions.

I like to think of these veils and remember that I have so many coverings in my life that stop me from fulling knowing and experiencing the vastness of the divine. When I remember this I feel myself get smaller or as I like to call it "right sized". Because as much as I like to think (sometimes) I am not the biggest, most powerful, most bad ass thing in the world. I can not comprehend or describe in words what this bigger force is, but it brings me peace of mind to remember that even though there are veils blocking me from "her" that she is there.


References:
Tantra: Path of Ecstasy By Georg Feuerstein
Anusara Teacher Training Manual By John Friend
Tantra Illuminated By Christopher (Hareesh) Wallis

Oh the stories we tell...ourself

I have been thinking about the inner dialogue. That voice in my head that narratives and interprets the world for me. Everyone is constantly in a inner conversation with theme selves. This is how we make connection with the world and with others. Its the way we interpret reality. The only problem is when this self talk creates our reality.

For example, handstands. Getting your butt over your head, over your shoulders and over your hands can be very scary. Chances are your inner voice has something to say to you about your ability to take that position. In class I see eyes roll when handstands are qued.

I have the wonderful opportunity to work with a few women in private sessions. These are nice because we can dialogue out loud the inner dialogue that is holding them back. When concerning handstand, it often it boils down to "I cant do handstand, because I am not strong enough". I have worked with all these women for a while and know they are strong enough. It's their inner dialogue at this point that is creating their reality and in fact is holding them back from recognizing just how powerful truly they are. I find that if my inner dialogue is telling me I'm not strong enough to do a yoga pose, it is definitely telling me I am weak in other areas of our life. For example, I am to weak to finish school, I am not powerful enough to maintain good relationships in my life, I am not confident enough to draw big numbers of students to my class.

One of the women I have been working with who has been telling me that she isn't strong enough to do handstand for a few weeks was able to push herself up (in handstand "L" variation with feel on wall). After she came down she told me it was a fluke and the should couldn't do it again. That was the voice trying to hold on to that static reality of not being strong. However we have gotten together for multiple times and she has continued to push herself up. The more she gets inverted the more I see that inner dialog shift and she stands up with more confidence. I can see this new confidence show up other poses too. Last time she left our session with a huge smile saying "I feel so strong".

I can relate to this. When I learn a new pose that my inner voice was telling me I was to weak to do I feel a new sense of power on and off my mat. I feel confident I can finish school (and I did!) I feel strong in my relationships, and I feel confident in my teaching abilities.


So my question for you. What is your inner voice telling you? How many areas in your life could that inner self talk be holding you back in?

Slightly brocken

Here is a clip of me playing with inversions in my morning practice:

Ive been thinking about vrikcrokti (dont know the correct sandsktrit spelling). This term means slightly brocken. We are all vrkcrockti, somwhat brocken, imperfect. I did a lot of striving to be fully perfect for a long time and then punishing myself for my like of perfect perfection. Now I work on embracing the fact that that I am not perfect nor will I ever be perfect. Instead I strave to be imperfectly perfect. I understand that I have trouble areas but I can embrace my whole self and enjoy the playfulness of life during the fun times and through the challenges. A good friend of mine used to remind me the best I can be is human. When I feel myself getting mad at Kim I remind myself of this. I also remind myself that my friends, lover, employers, family, eveyone can only be human, that we all make mistakes, we all have things we are working through. My life goal is no longer being as perfect as I can be so the world, others and myself can give me the stamp of perfect approval. Instead I am aiming for a life playfully lived full of compassion, kindness and laughter for myself and others.

 

In praise of

imperfection let your spirit soar, sprial and skip

life is a grand and sacred adventure dine in! Leap forth!

Take risks, go ahead, fall flat on you tush, alot

it is time.

No more doubt and self denial

no more wasted time worrying,

sitting on the side lines wishing you were playing

a secret revieled

we all tumble sometimes

getting muddy can be fun

learning to summersalt and stand up

blossom like the wildfloer you are

take this moment

this opputninity now

transform you life into one that is dynamic, sparkeling, guttsy, fully alive!

by the way perfection is over rated, and if you havent noticed NOT AT ALL POSSIBLE

there is beauty in asemetray

we are all alittle goofy, uneven, vrikcrokti (slightly brocken)

take your regeal seat in the galaxtic family

have fun, have fun, have fun

get over your own self sabatage

the world is waiting for you

The above poem I got from Amy Ippoliti

 

Eye of the TIGER

Eye of the Tiger Schedual:
15 minutes- Sun salutations
15 minutes- Handstand and pinca mayurasana
10-30 minutes- headstand
50 minutes- standing poses
15 minutes- hip openers
10 minutes- abdominals
30 minutes- arm balances
45 -60 minutes- backbends
45-60 minutes- forward bends
15-30 minutes- shoulderstand
10 minutes- meditation
15 minutes- savasana

This practice lasts from 4-6 awesome hours depending how long is spent on each section. I got this sequence from Christina Sell.

RoLLer CoAsTEr RIDE

 

It's so easy for me to get wrapped up in my emotions and even my hormones. I get angry and I am so attached to that feeling and the rage. Or I am being hormonal and let's face it, a little crazy. But I feel like I am justified to feel like that and feed it even more 

This is not a happy place to be. What makes me feel better is if I can distance myself from the parts of me that are always changing (emotions, moods, attitudes) and instead connect with the I changing energy that that I truelly, instead of connecting with this package my energy is held in called Kim.

One technique I use to create this space is by pausing and breathing and saying to myself or out loud "Kim is feeling really angry". Talking in third person helps me instantly reliaze I have a choice. I can get really tied into what Kim is feeling or I can be like "oh that's interesting, I don't want to feel angry so in going to keep a little space and perspective on this."

I recently went off birth control and my hormones had been extra intense. Sometimes my husband will point this out to me. When he does this I normally get defensive and upset. But then if I pause and again think "he is right Kim is being super hormonal and crazy. Haha that's funny".

It's like being in a roller coaster ride and forgetting that you are on an amusement park ride and think the experience of going up and down is their life. It's so dramatic. It goes up and it's so exciting and fun. There's the pause and the too filled with fear. There is the down and the swoops that are scary. However if you pause mid ride and think "(insert your name here)________ is on a roller costed ride." Then you create some space to enjoy the adventure knowing that the ups, downs, loops and swoops are all a part of this exciting adventure.

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