Have you ever gotten a negative critique? What about a positive comment?
Where do you put these two kinds on comments? on mental Teflon, letting it slide off of you, or on mental Velcro, sticking it in place for years to come back and reflect on it?
For me it’s very obvious. I get told many kind things about my teaching almost daily. I soak these in for a moment and then quickly forget about them. On the other hand I can list of the negative comments I have received about my teaching over the last 14 years.
One of my current practices when I receive a positive comment is to mentally place it on the Velcro and purposely choose to recall that comment. When I receive a negative comment I question if it is coming from a reliable source, if I need to learn + grow from this comment and if so I work to make those refinements. Then I mentally put it on the Teflon. I watch it slide off. The next time my mind wants to recall it I remind myself it’s on the Teflon.. it’s gone.
This is true for parenting too, more challenging moments I stick to the Velcro and the bliss filled moments slide away on the Teflon.
I use the same technique. Mentally placing the good moments on the Velcro, like this loving sibling play time post swimming, and the hard moments I work to let slide away.
As with most mindfulness practices it’s easier said then done but with intention and repetition I see a huge difference in my self esteem and happiness levels.
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