Light

There is a light inside of us that is always shining that can never be diminished and is NOT dependent on anything. I often think that my past behaviors have lessened or extinguished my light, but that is not the Truth. Nothing I could ever do could lessen the light inside of my heart. This is one of the many gift the practice has given me. I can now see that I have a light that is always shining peace, bliss, and love. I know that the light is within me even on my most depressed horribly tragic days. I have yet to be feeling miserable and say to myself "how about you just shift to feeling the peace and bliss inside yourself" and than I whala! am happy, however I do remind myself of this although I still experience the variety of emotions I still know what resides inside of me.

Christina Sell used a great example of money, "You can take a dollar bill, crumple it up, stomp on it and even send it through the washer, and still that dollar bill maintains its value. So, too, as we examine our own history and the ways we may have been crumpled, stomped on and put through the rinse cycle more than a few times and still we remain valuable." This brings me comfort!

I used the example of a lamp while teaching this week. The light bulb shines light and emits a radiant brightness. There is a shade to cover the bulb which makes the light appear less bright. I like to think of the shade as my mood. What commonly happens is I miss my light and connect instead with my mood. When I am sad I connect with that sad feeling. When I am happy I connect with that happy feeling. When I just see the shade my mood bounces around like a ball in a pin ball machine. I am learning to see that the light is always present shining behind my mood, and to recognize and start connecting with the light more. When I am practicing this I remain more stable because instead of hoping around from lamp shade to lamp shade I am connecting to the essence of the light bulb that shines behind any color of shade.

This reminds me of the last two lines of the Anusara Invocation + translation from JF:

Nisprapancaya Shantaya

Niralambaya Tejase

Is never absent, full of peace

Ultimately free and sparkles with a divine luster