Meditation: drenched in PEACE

When I sit for meditation and my mind stops spinning as fast,  I begin to get this feeling of peace, of "every thing s going to be okay". After being soaked in that feeling when I come out of meditation I still carry some of that residue. That clarity of knowing at a very deep level that I am okay and  I am loved. I haven't figured out why I feel this way in meditation and I don't think it is important that I find out. What matters is that I feel it and I tap into it.

When I am living life I accumulate doubt, indecision, insecurities and FEAR. These feelings make me question: Should I meditate in the evening? Am I wasting my time? If I act on these feelings and don't meditate I experience these feelings more intensely. When I miss a mediation these feeling run rampid. As a result it is likely I will miss my next meditate and this continues. These fears can prevent me from mediating for a few days or weeks. I feel like my life is a blur of anxiety and I don't know why. Then I meditate and feel that peace I have been seeking outside of myself for. However, the longer I go without meditating the longer I need to sit before my mind stops spinning.

What I am learning is that I have to meditate no matter what. I meditate in the morning and in the evening. I meditate even when I really really don't want to. Because I know that not meditating, not getting drenched in that power, that is what makes my life crazy. If I do miss a meditation I try to recognize it and start my routine of regular meditation again.

My main intention for 2012 is to cultivate a better relationship with my higher power. I think the way to do that is through meditation. Therefore I am making meditating a huge priority. My other intention for the year is to cultivate better relationships with my family members (not that it isn't good but I want to make more time for them in my life). I think this will organically happen as I meditate more.