thinking about dogs and vulnerability

Yesterday I went to my friends house and I met her dog, Niko. Niko has never been exposed to abuse. All he has known is love. This made me think of my dog, Dharma, who has been severly abused when she was younger before I got her. When I met Niko he was so open and vonurable. Meeting Niko and seeing his disposition made me think about dharma and how she can not interact like that dog and allow herself to be so vulnerable because she has been exposed to such cruelty.
 This made me think of humans in our society. We have been exposed to cruelty over and over. Little unkind things happen daily and bigger wronge doings happen in longer time spans. Just like Dharma and Niko our past exposure to cruelty affects how we show up in all our relationships with one another from a hurt place and we (just like my dog) we don’t allow our self to be fully vulnerable.

 To continue my example about my dog….I have had her for almost 5 years and we have such a strong bond and she is her most comfortable around me. But I know she still has her gard up even though I have only showed her love. My husband has showed Dharma so much compassion over these five years yet the ability she has to open up purely with him is still very small. She thinks she needs to be defending herself because of her past experience, she knows that there is a possibility Tyler, like other men in her life, could hurt her.

 I thought of all of this in just a few moments and started to cry. It all makes sense…The way I respond and interact with in my relationships it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to be so open because I have been hurt in the past. I think knowing this is going to help me in all my relationships because I will know that it is my nature to hold back and self protect I need make shifts and forgive the past so that I can be more open and free....