Saturday, December 10, 2011

One year

On December 06 2010 I came to my husband in tears. I told him that I had an eating disorder and I wanted help. I was sure he would hate me, leave me, yell at me. Instead he held me in his arms and said "he loved me and that things would be okay". Its been a year since that day and things have changed so much. I have been working with a treatment team regularly and they cant believe what a speedy recovery I have had. I often point out a specific meditation I had with my meditation teacher. I felt like I was in a dark cave being shacked. I was scared but I felt this huge surrender. I few tears ran down my checks and he said "God is healing you". I didn't know what to think but I stayed in the meditation. That day effected my recovery so much! Letting a power greater then myself into my life has been huge. As well as being honest to others and letting people help me.

I have mentioned my eating disorder a few times on this blog and I hint at it quite a lot just don't write out the words "eating disorder" instead I write "challenges, difficulties, things that don't serve us". I think every person has something and I think by talking to the bigger picture instead of specific symptoms it is more universal for everyone. It also scares the crap out of me being so honest and vulnerable so I hope to write about it more as a challenge to myself.

That's my update. My life changed so dramatically one year ago and it continues to grow everyday as I remind myself what is truly important to me instead of what is on the superficial layer.

Thanks for reading

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