Friday, October 4, 2013

Pregnancy.. teaching lessons

This pregnancy has been a huge teacher. From the very beggining being told I was miscarrying, to being told I have a low lying placenta at 20 weeks and might need a c section at a hosptial, to no more low laying placenta and can have my water birth at the birth center at 27 weeks, to having a major bleed at 33 weeks, to having to leave the birth center and transfer to the hosptial, to bed rest, to no bed rest, to more bleeding, to more bed rest....

Lessons learned: patience, go with the flow, being still

patience (definition: the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.)
oh patience. Something I have been working on for years. My husband is so so patient and is good reminder and example of a quality I would like to embody more. I can get impateint with my dogs, husband, driving, holding a yoga posture... I have journeled and even themed in a yoga class before that the things that stir up impatience in us can be an oppurtunity to cultivate patience during. I think of this (sometimes) when I am driving behind someone going really slow, when the teacher is encouragin me to hold a long pose, when the dogs dont listen to me... So can I practice what I preach and practice patience during pregnancy.

go with the flow: Wow has this been a big one and something I have been trying to work on for the past 2 years. Of being less attached to Kim's plans and instead turning my will over to Grace. I use the third step prayer daily:
God (Universe, Grace),
I offer myself to Thee
To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self, so that I may better do thy will.
Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness
to those I would help of Thy power, Thy love and Thy way of life.
May I do Thy will always.
But as much as I try to turn it over. I still make plans and get attached to them. With this pregnancy my plan was it would go smoothly, that I would have a comfortable, awesome, natural, uncomplicated water birth at the birth center. That I would be able to do massages and teach yoga until I went into labor. That I could go on hikes, swim, and practice yoga until I went into labor. But thats not what happened. Its a good lesson to learn before the baby comes. I am sure as a parent I am going to have to put my wants and plans aside for what my baby/ family wants or needs.
Being still: I tend to go go go like the energizer bunny. I take time to sit and be still in meditation for 20 mins morning and night (most days) but other then that I am doing something. Being on bed rest I am barely allowed to make my own sandwhich or walk up the stairs. Being still allows to to be present in the moment instead of rushing around. It gives me a chance to get clear with my feeling and time to face my fears. 

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