Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Thank You

I have been reflecting on my experience in yoga. I have been practicing for 7ish years, I have been teaching for 6ish year (I started my teacher training so quickly after finding the practice and I always used to be embarrassed about that but I am learning to embrace my shame).

6 months ago I decided to take a break from all my teaching jobs because I felt like I wasn't in an appropriate space to serve my students. I had a "breakdown" and admitted the truth to my self and my loved ones that i had an eating disorder and started working with a treatment team. Since all that I have been really resistant to my blog. I wasn't ready to tell the truth about the situation thinking maybe I would tell "the world" in a few years down recover.

This disorder which I was so angry about and disappointed in myself actually has become a blessing. Fir the past 6 years I have been really studying yoga and trying to understand the teaching, but through this recovery process I have learned so much about myself, life, and God. Before I could just barely comprehend some of the teachings of yoga and through this weird invitation I am learning to feel the teaching of yoga through my body and heart.

In a few posts ago I was so scared to do my "quick summary" of some of these big events in my life and I haven't received much feedback, but all of the feedback has been supportive and I am so thankful to all of you.

I am learning we all have shame and things we arnt proud of but the more we are secretive about our shame the more it can grow and stop some of the wonderful invitations life has to offer.  I am thankful for me (few :)) readers and my loving and supirotive family and treatment team

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