Dissolution

I took a drive up emigration canyon today. It was so beautiful. So much shri! All the leaves are now orange, red, and yellow. Some of the leaves are now starting to wilt, weather, crumble, and have fallen onto to the ground. This beauty of the seasons changing reminded me dissolution. Dissolution is one of the 5 acts of Shiva (I wrote about all 5 acts in more detail in http://authenticselfyoga.blogspot.com/2010/09/fall-equinox-five-divine-acts-of-shiva.html). Normally when I think about dissolution my first thought is something bad, that I am losing something, that something changing, that something is dying. I naturally contract around dissolution, resist the change. But seeing the beauty in natural that was a result of this change, reminded me of what I know deep deep in my heart. That change is good, all things will eventually wither and die, and we out of our freedom can choose how we can respond. We can choose to resist and contract around the change or we can open up to the change and allow the dissolution to help us shift in our life.

Seeing this dissolution inspired me to think deeply and honestly about what in my life is in the stage of dissolution. Like I said before I like to hold on to thing (this is one of the patterns I am trying to let go of). What habits are shifting (or have been shifting for a while) and are ready to dissolve out of my life. The leafs seem to shift through these changes with ease and beauty. However the patterns don’t dissolve so easily, something they take a lot of strength. I know I cling to things like a dead dread up leaf instead of having the strength to drop it to the ground and know that the dead leaf will be what helps me open more beautifully and fully.

I think that this act of dissolution is very softening. When we let go of habits, patterns, behaviors, and tendencies we soften and we become vulnerable (that is what I am realizing I struggle the most with, the vulnerability that comes with dropping some of these patterns I have cultivated for awhile). But when we become soft and vulnerable what blooms from us, blooms from such a deep place in the heart. The softness and vulnerability that went towards the cultivation of this opening is so big and so beautiful. When we allow our self to be open and from such a deep place the offering we make with our self, in our life can really touch people. It can really help us better serve the people and the planet.

Dissolution is just one part of the five acts of Shiva. After Dissolution comes concealment and the revelation. So as we let go and allow some the dissolution to happen come back to the heart and remember that a revelation is just around the corner

So I encourage you to think about what maybe dissolving in your life?

waterford

I teach a class for the faculty at Waterford. Waterford is a private school that goes from 2 pre k up to 12th grade. It is quite funny I teach here because I used to go to Rowland Hall St. Marks which is the rivial school of Waterford. Ha-ha.


Anyways. I absolutely love the group of students we have been working together for over a year and they have all made tremendous growth. I remember when I started working with them I showed up and there were probably around 20 students and all seemed very hesitant. We started the practice with questions because I could feel that people had lots of stuff on their mind. All of the questions revolved around "how hard is the class going to be". Many people wanted me to know that they thought the class should be very easy because most hadn’t had any exposure to yoga. A few people spoke up about injuries. So we started with a very gentle class. However as people started to gain familiarly, strength, and better alignment we started to go a little deeper into the practice both physically and spiritually. By the end of the year the students were doing hand stands, headstands, arm balanced.... Students were even requesting a more challenging class. It has been really amazing to be part of this transformation. I do see transformation a lot. But this is normally in a studio setting and I normally think the transformation that I see in students is coming from the wonderfully teacher I work with. I normally don’t think it is me. Don’t get me wrong I know people enjoy my classes. However I feel like I am just another student who study’s diligently and then passes on what she knows. However working with this group of students who don’t practice with anyone else it is a really nice reminder that I helped these students in their transformation. I was receptive to what they needed and may offering really made a difference.
Big smile

Moving on. We are starting another year together.
I taught a class to them on September 28th.

Main teaching point: fist principle (foundation, inner body bright, outer body soft), shoulder loop (starts in pallet curls head back, helps maintain natural curve of neck)

I talked about how though our life we have programmed our self in certain ways. Specifically that if we round our shoulders forward and down we will experience more ease. However this is not the case. I spoke about how the practice of yoga asana 9postures) can help us re program our self. When we roll our shoulders forward and down we unplug from he heart. This reminds me of what happens when we are reaching toward something. Think about a baby reaching out to grab something. The shoulders unplug from he heart. We do this all the time reaching for material things to bring us happiness. What we forget to realize is that these things will never bring us lasting happiness they will always change and eventually go away. What will never go away is our heart (at least as long as we are alive). If we can learn to plug in, to stay connect to our heart we can find stability and contentment no matter what challenges confront us.

Language:
Plug in
Heart
Lengthen
Freedom
Stability
Broaden
Happiness
Contentment
Expand
After teaching for about 30 mins I paused and asked if there were any question (I love this group of students my nick name for them is genie pigs, they are up for anything). A student I love asked what melting the heart ment. I term I have been using for a very long time. It was a wonderful oppurtuniny to break it down. The student who asked a very big wonderful man didn’t know the terminology but his body knew it. I asked him to demonstrate this in chaturanga and cobra. He did a wonderful job and it helped him and the students grasp the concept of melting the heart.

new book, new class

I don’t like going so far btw posts so this is a quick recap.
I keep track of the yoga classes I teach in a little 5.5 x 8.5 sketch book. I finished my 5th book last week. In these books I write down my sequence either very detailed or a rough idea, my theme, the date, the type of class and the length. The focus is normally on the sequence. I have been trying lately to focus less on the specific sequence and overly pre planning the class and instead being open to the students and receptive to what they want/need for that class. As I start this new book my plane is to emphasis the theme, the main teaching point (ex. universal principles of alignment), and the specific language I want to be using. I will still include the date, name of class, and length. I also want to start writing a brief reflection after about how the class went, feedback I got, and/or insights.

I have so far taught two classes out of this book.

On September 28th I taught a class at the yoga center.
The class was mainly new students 40+ yrs old with a few seasoned 30 yr olds.
The main teaching point:1st principle....foundation, inner body bright... outer body soft.
Theme: staying grounded.
I wanted to do lots of balancing poses and talk about how we can support our self when we are balancing. I wanted the students to think about which part of themselves they connect with when they are balancing. "Where do you feel grounded?" "Where do you pull your strength from?" The places that we pull this strength from to physically stay grounded from is always available to us, whether we are trying to stay centered physically, mentally, emotionally, or all of the above.

I wanted to make a point to talk about grace. That grace is always avalible to us, and that grace is the force that reveals our true nature to us.

I wanted to continue to remind the students to think about what they love? Value? And cherish? And suggest
that they center their selves with an openness that these thoughts provide.

I told them that when I think about grace and opening to grace. I think about seeing something amazing and how it makes me feel inside. For example seeing the shining stars, the full moon, the vast ocean... these sights make me feel soft but when I see them I can’t help but stand taller, and prouder... knowing that I am deeply connected to that same beauty.

I again wanted to mention our natural tendencies that may come up while trying to balance or in life. The tendency to feel sad, angry, or full of fear. But that through the practice of physical postures (asana) we can help shift our tendencies and instead choose how to respond.

Language:
Soften
Receive
Stability
Freedom
Expansion
Circumference
Side body long
Fullness
Lift
Regal
Remember
Lengthen
Grounded
Settle
Love

1st principle OPEN TO GRACE

Opening to Grace=(setting foundation, inner body bright, outer body soft)

We are inherently whole, complete, and perfect. There is nothing we need to get or get rid of! Everything we need for our own fulfillment we already have.

Grace is: It is always there. It is a force that lives in us, that is us. We all experience it and we are all it. John Friend describes it as a force which reveals to us our true nature.

Open to Grace: This first principle really has three components. The first is setting the foundation. The second is to expand on the inside (“inner body bright”), and this expansion happens from a remembrance of fullness. The third component is a softening of the outer form (“outer body soft”).

Foundation: be steadfast and determined in your foundation. Root down with commitment. Our foundation reflects our intention. So open to grace, and acknowledge where you are. Know that who you is perfect right now you don’t need to add or subtract anything so be strong in knowing your greatness and show that greatness by your foundation. Foundation center of wrist/ankle lines up with second toe/finger. Four corners of food/hand root down. A stance that creates stability and freedom.

Inner Body Bright: After we invoke a remembrance we create a full expansion on the inside. Extend from the pelvis up to the pallet of the moth and up the sides of the neck. Lengthen the side body, and the front and the back of the torso. Expand the circumference of the rib cage in all directions.

Outer Body Soft: When the inner body is bright your outer form can soften onto that fullness (part of outer body soft is melting the heart). Allow the outer body to soften and naturally release without losing the expansion you created with inner body bright.

Contemplate to remember:
Opening to grace starts with a remembrance.
What do you love? What do you value? What do you cherish?
From this inner remembrance we expand, we fill our self with this remembrance and create inner body bright, and with this remembrance we find that the outer layers naturally soften.

Another way to cultivate a remembrance is by bring the attention to the breath. The breath is a reminder of how marvelous and precious life is. As we in inhale we expand and as we exhale keeping the expansion we soften.

To me Grace feels like:
When I think of opening to grace I remember the times when I feel small but very connected to what is bigger than me. For example when I am standing on a mountain peak looking down, when I am looking up at the shining stars and full moon, when I am looking into the vastness of the ocean. In all of these situations even though I feel small, I naturally find my standing firm where I am (foundation) and lifting my whole self and heart up higher (inner body bright). When I stand taller like this I think it is my inner body being proud of who I am and that I am connected to the moon, the stars, the ocean… Around this there is a settling, a “it is all going to be okay” feeling and I relax on the periphery (outer body soft).

Language:
• Soften
• Shri
• Reflect balance
• Stability and freedom
• Inner body bright
• Outer body soft
• Natural expansion from FP
• Expand in all direction
• Side body long
• Be open like the sky
• Soften the skin
• Fullness of self
• Expand here
• Lift
• Regal
• Receive
• Remember your greatness
• Open
• Lengthen
• Remember something you love, that you cherish

References:
Anusara teacher training manual
Anusara master immersion packet
Ellena Brower
Zhenja La Rosa

Fall equinox, the five divine acts of shiva

Fall equinox reminds me of spanda, the pulsation of life that we are always in. Fall equinox marks the beginning of the physical contraction. We start to get shorter days, colder days, and the bright flowers and green leafs start to change their colors and wilt away. As I think about the pulsation of life I think about the five divine acts of Shiva. Revelation, Creation, Sustenance, Dissolution, Concealment. Even though autumn equinox marks the contraction of spanda in part of the world we can experience multiple experiences of these five acts. I really enjoy remembering these five acts because it reminds me of the power of Grace.


Here are a few examples of some of these acts (it is easier for me to notice what part others our experiencing and I am working at focusing and being for aware of my own cycle):
One of my friends got fired from a job. He is in a stage of Dissolution and concealment. His old job has disappeared and he is very very sad. If only he could remember there is potential, a new job, which is concealed from him and soon it will be revealed to him. He will then start working again and be in the creation phase, then he will be sustaining the job, eventually he will quite or gets fired and it will dissolve again.

My sister recently moved to Colorado to go to school. For a while she was in the creation phase but after making friends and getting into the swing of life and school she is entering the substance phase. But just like the two sided drum that Shiva beats sustaining life also represents time and all things change with time. Eventually she will leave school (dissolution) and her future will be concealed, then there will be a light and revelation and creation with start and the cycle will continue.

We see this in nature in flowers and trees. At first we don’t see anything, but little do we know there is a seed beneath the ground that is concealing all the potential for the future blossom, soon the sapling sprouts out of the dirt and creation is made. It continues to go, the pedals open to soak in the sun and the beauty is being maintained (sustenance). After a while the leaves shrivel up, the petals lose the color and the flower being to die (dissolution) eventually the flower goes away and the concealment happens again.

We can see the five acts in our yoga asana practice as well. When we start our asana practice and we sit all the poses are concealed to within us. (Just like all the yoga asanas are concealed within you at this moment. Who knows you could have a revelation and bust out and create virabhadrasana two.) After sitting we get a revelation and our body and spirit guides us into a pose. Then we move into the pose and it gets created. As we use our muscular energy and work the five principles of Anusara yoga we maintain and sustain the pose. After we are done with the pose we begin to move out of it and the pose goes through dissolution. As we shift into another pose the previous pose like all others are concealed within us.

I love that within this complex image which represents the five divine acts of Shiva that depicts the five acts (the fire, the mudras, the smiling imp, the drum, the hair) which seem frightening or overwhelming, with in all of this Shiva is doing the mudra of “no fear”. This mudra can remind us that no matter what phase we find our self that we don’t need to be afraid and that even within these divine acts we can open up to the power of Grace. The pulsation of life just like Shiva’s drum will continue to pulse and beat, we can line up to the pulse by learning about the five acts and being aware to where we are in them.

As autumn equinox is upon us can we reflect on our life and where we find our self within the pulsation.

Pictures:
humanisthall.net

gaudiyadiscussions.com

Wednesday = fun day

Wednesday was a crazy day! I got a call from Matt Newman and was invited to a yoga class at his house. I was so excited. The problem was that I was to teach a class at the same time at The Yoga Center. I tried very hard to find a sub but I could not. I contacted the studio owner and I thought I would cancel my class so I could expand as a student and a teacher by attending Matts private yoga class.

After school I went and taught a class at Waterford. I teach weekly classes at Waterford for their faculty 345-445. This is one of my favorite classes. Such wonderful people and so open to whatever I offer. I have been working with this group for over a year and I truly feel that they have helped me grow into the teacher I am now. When I arrived I was a little late so I ran into the building leaving my notebook behind. I have a notebook where I outline the idea of the class along with the theme. I normally improvise off of the outline but I always, always bring it with me. It is like my saftey blanket as a yoga teacher. However today I ran into class without it. As I was running and realized I forgot my book I thought about recently certified Anusara teacher Maria Christina. She has been blogging about how she has stopped overly planning her class and instead is being present and is offering what is wanted. I thought I should do that today. When I entered the class I asked how people were doing. A few people said they had “homework neck” i.e. their neck hurt because they have been looking down to grade papers. One student came up to me and asked me to look at her chaturanga because her shoulders where hurting after a class she took previously that week. And another student asked me to go over keeping the shoulders integrated when reaching up. She said “there must be something wrong with me”. After receiving this information I thought shoulder loop, we will work on shoulder loop. This was totaly different then I planned. I don’t even know how I thought up the poses and the order but they all worked so well. We did partner work. It was so great. There were many ah ha moments for many of the students. Each student talked to me after class and expressed how much they enjoyed the class. One woman said I need this every class. It was really moving and helped me realize that I don’t need to overly plan and memorize the class I want to teach. That I have the knowledge and wisdom in me. I have practiced and studied a lot and that I can spontaneously teach what is needed in that moment.

After the class I also decided (I actually decided as I was running to Waterford) that I was going to teach my class at the yoga center. I knew Leslie (the studio owner) would be fine if I canceled. She is a wonderful woman and really wants everyone, her teachers included, to grow as yoga students. However I wanted to be responsible and dependable although I did have a feeling like no one would show up because my two regular students both told me they would be missing today. However I had four students show up. Three of which were new to me. Everyone loved the class, I think. Two of the new students where a couple, they had come to two other classes at the yoga center that week. The women had a hurt back and read my bio and thought I would be perfect. Though out class we had lots of fun, lots of laughs, after class the women pulled me aside and said this is what she had been looking for. That she REALLY APPRIACETED my personality. What a tremendous compliment. My heart melted.

GREAT DAY. TEACHING AND LIVING.

I also got a new hula hoop from my new friend Sara Bear Hogan! She is so wonderful. I love my new hoop. The colors are magnificent! It is light I can do many tricks I couldn’t do before. And it is collapsible. Please check her out. http://hoopology.weebly.com/

new addition to blog roll

I love reading blogs. I learn so much and am so inspired by the beautiful people and teachers who share their wisdom and experiences. I list my favorite blogs on my blog roll and I am happy to add 2 more. Check them out:

•  http://srividyalayaamrta.blogspot.com/
• Bernadette Birney a student of Rajanaka Yoga and a certified Anusara Yoga teacher.
• http://shaktisunfire.wordpress.com/
• Laura "Shakti Sunfire" Blakeman a fabulous hula hooper who studies Anusara and is working toward inspired status

enjoy