Is your studentship spicey?

During the immersion last weekend we talked about adhikara (studentship).  Everyone is a student of life so the question becomes what is the level of your studentship. John Friend sometimes talks about this with hot sauce. Is your studentship mild, medium, or fiery? We can also look at studentship as being related to the five mahabharatas (elements).  When our studentship is in balance with these qualities we experience both more vibrancy and ease, however when they are out of balance they can become very destructive.

1.       Sky: unbounded, beginners mind, soft, humble, “just try it attitude”

2.       Earth: solid, unwavering, grounded, steadfast

3.       Water: fluid, receptive, accommodating, can be very powerful (like a fire hydrant)

4.       Fire: transformative energy, passion, aspiring for greatness, burning

5.       Air/ ether: dexterity, flexible, not stuck, breath.

Adam offered us a homework assignment of focusing on one element each day, do a short asana practice inspired by that element and journal on your insights. This has been very fun opportunity.

more on adhikara: http://authenticselfyoga.blogspot.com/2010/02/adhikara-studentshipthe-5-elements-of.html

Yoga= invitation to unite Body Mind Heart

I have been looking at parts of myself that do not seem delightful and I have noticed that the areas I run into pain are conncted to my emotions/feelings coming from my heart as well as my habbits/behaviors that are and associated with my mind. There seems to be areas that do not line up and when my heart and mind are not moving toward harmony life does not feel as good as it could. That is the wonderful invitation of yoga which root word ‘yok’ means to join or unite. Through asana (yoga postures) we use the physical body as a way to access the mind and heart so we may better align and thus experience the pulse of Shakti more sweetly.  

opening to Grace

In the immersion I am taking with Adam Ballenger we have been focusing on the first principle: Open to Grace.

I used to be so embarrassed that I was hanging on to really unhealthy habits and behaviors as I was studying yoga so intensely. I felt like such a hypocrite. Now I understand that I have been pursuing yoga for so long because I so badly wanted to open up to Grace but at the same time I was even more attached smaller then Grace “stuff”. I now see that it was just part of the journey. Although the relationship I have with food and body image has caused me a lot of pain I am grateful because the amount of pain it brought me was enough for me to fight it, learn to let go of it, so I could be in a place to open to Grace. I remember a specific day about two months into treatment where I was really focusing on surrender, “Surrender, surrender, surrender, do what you treatment team is telling you and take a leap of faith”. This was the start of me really opening to Grace. It had to start with an active surrender of my attachments to smaller then grace stuff which (through lots of effort) took so much weight off my shoulders allowing me to rise up get stay grounded. Life is still hard and it is a fight but now over all I feel bright, bubbly with joy, a deep surrender and acceptance. Before although I was a good actor my inner body was very dark and I felt pain, judgment, anger, fear, and anxiety.

learning and growing

On Friday was the start of the Anusara Immersion with Adam Ballenger. I took the immersions from Adam about a year and a half ago and when I did it blew my mind and melted my heart. I have been looking forward to go through the immersion again to help refine my knowledge and my practice. Hearing Adam talk yesterday and today has really helped me recognize what a different place I am in my life now compared to then. On the first night of the immersion last time I was excited and eager to learn. I tried to scribble down every word that came out of Adams mouth. I was confused when I heard concepts like Grace and organic energy. This time around I understand, and connect with the information. Before the information felt like it was being dumped on me and now I feel like I am participating in the conversation. Now instead of writing down every word I note a few key points, “ah-has” or a reminder to journal more on a topic. Things are making more sense to me now because I have been studying yoga for a while and things are starting to click, and I am now in a healthy place in my life to hear and apply what I am learning. Before all though I thought I was open to grace, but I wasnt. I have learned in order to open to Grace I had to actively surrender all the smaller than grace “stuff” I was attached to.  

an oppurtunity to expand

I have been thinking a lot about interaction. Everything that happens is an interaction with something else. An interaction with our self, each other, the earth, the way we interact in our job. From these interactions we experience expansion or contraction. Everything that happens can be looked at as an invitation to expand. But at the same time if we don’t watch our self and our habits our interactions can become a contraction, leading to a contraction leading to a contraction….leading to a sad, upset, angry, feels like the world is against them individual. Instead can we take every interaction as an opportunity:  How can I expand with this? How can this enhance life? Even a really bad stuff like death or a natural disaster although painful can still be an opportunity to expand. (Side note: Life is a pulsation so it is natural to have contraction but when you contract it is because you are co-participating with the divine to expand somewhere else)
 

I led the students through a little meditation having them remember and experience expansion within their body. I suggested times that have made me expand, being honest + vulnerable yet received with love, spending time with my husband, playing with a new baby, looking at something vast and beautiful like the ocean or sky, doing something I love while being present … all these experience have made my inner light expand. When we expand we feel of love, bliss, and surrender that radiates from the inside out and on top of this radiance the outer body melts. It was wonderful to witness a room of students actively expanding!

After this meditation we moved into our asana practice and I reminded the students that every pose is an opportunity to expand, whether that pose is your favorite pose, your least favorite pose, or you need to take a modification… it doesn’t matter! Just like it doesn’t matter what situation you are in, or who you are interaction with, they are all opportunities for expansion, for life enhancement, and deepen your connection with Spirit.

May we remember that we have a choice how to engage. We can choice to engage life in a skillful way that allows us to expand and expand…

OM NAMAH SHIVAYA

May your SOUL ROOT and BLOSSOM

Last week was so wonderful! I got a new job landscaping and organic gardening job with Soul Garden I absolutely love the job and feel so so happy, grateful, blessed for this opportunity. I cannot believe that I am getting paid to spend my day outside with my hands in the earth, learning about flowers, and feel like I am connecting with my heart. To top it off my boss is AMAZING and I cannot wait to get to know her and learn from her more. I have made some tremendous shifts in my life lately and being in the garden makes my soul want to sing. On top of that it is such a great opportunity for reflection. I have had so many great blog and class ideas. I also really want to start teaching yoga for gardener’s class because after one full week of working my body is soar.
http://soulgardenearthscapes.com/

Looking forward to 100 hours of Anusara Immerson :)

Next weekend I am starting the Anusara immersion with phenomenal Anusara certified teacher Adam Ballenger and am so freaking excited. I took the immersion last year with Adam and it was mind blowingly awesome. I started the immersion after getting into Anusara for about 6 months and the immersion really introduced me to the Shiva-Shakti Tantra philosophy that is part of the Anusara style. I was thrilled to be learning this fascinating information but at the same time I was at a pretty unhealthy place in my life and even though part of me was pursuing yoga and expansion there was another part (that I call Ed) that was in constant contraction and fear. I had an amazing experience going through the immersions the first time and I learned so much but I am very eager to go through it a second time now so I can get deeper into the philosophy that I have now been studying for over a year and now I learning how to be more balance and healthy. I am so grateful for my teacher Adam.