Parents and husbands

One thing I have been doing recently is to consciously pause throughout the day and think of the things I am grateful for, in my life, in the day, in the moment. These pauses of remembrance of the love and support I have in my life really made me feel good inside, so I started to keep a gratitude diary. In this diary I just write down a few things I am grateful for. I do this whenever I remember throughout the day and every night before I go to bed. (Studies show that if you write three things you are grateful for before bed you will sleep better).

I have been noticing a theme in my journal. my husband Tyler Hoggan, makes it on the page every day. I feel so fortunate that I have a loving, funny, intelligent, adventurous husband.

I have a friend who is going through divorce and it heartbreaking. I have witnessed and experienced divorce in my own family and it causes such pain and unease for the people involved. I was thinking about the relationship between husband and wife and the relationship between family members, for example a daughter and her father. When you say “I do” you are forming a family. But one difference is that a relationship between father and daughter can never be completely destroyed. When I was younger I was a troubled teen. I was sad, confused, rebellious and as a result I caused so much pain to my family member and those I love. I used to have horrible fights with my dad and I would say some of the ugliest things, it brings tears to my eyes to think back on these times and how my dad must have felt. I took actions that caused pain and disappointment to so many close to me. But now after taking some time to heal, finding true friends and choosing to persue things that cultive health and happiness in my life, I now have really stronge compassionate bond with my dad and with my family. No matter all the crap we experienced years ago we have so much love for each other.

It makes me sad that husband and wife don’t always seem to do this “til death do we part”. (Don’t get me wrong I am not saying there are not situations where a divorce can be appropriate). However from what I have witnessed a husband and wife can go throw a few bad actions, a few bad fights and then they end it. I like to think of marriage as a conscious commitment to making a family with that person. And that no matter what comes up (for better or worse, for sicker or poorer) you will stick together and work really hard and in the end I think the wound or whatever it is can help strengthen the relationship.

This was a random thought. Anyways I am very grateful for my husband and all the support, love, and laughter he brings into my life.