Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Lotus flower, and therapy

I have wanted to see a therapist for a very long time. As a teacher I have people coming to me for advice and I say these wise things, but I never have felt that I had someone to go to talk, ramble about my “problems”, and seek advice. I was scared at first to find a therapist because I felt like everyone knew me as a yoga teacher whom dedicates almost all her time practicing and studying yoga, and has “no problems”. I thought that getting a therapist meant an automatic confession to my life isn’t perfect (not that I ever said it was). However I remember reading one of my favorite teacher’s blog, Maria Cristina (blog.mariacristinayogi.com). She talked about how she has seen a therapist for years and how important her therapist is in her life. I never forgot that.

I often think about how being a student of yoga, we can create a lot of pain and conflict for our self because we are consciously doing really, really hard work to better our self so we may connect to Our Self, Shiva, God, Nature, Spirit, Breathe ____(enter your blank here) more fully and show up more fully in all our relationships with our self, friends, families, strangers, and nature. I sometimes think how different my life would be if I wasn’t doing this work, if I was just content and accepted everything as it was, kind of the whole “ignorance is bliss”.

It is like a lotus flower. A lotus flower starts buried in the mud (in Anusara we look for the good so this mud isn’t bad it provides the nutrients we need) But at a certain point the mud doesn’t serve us, and we start doing this work that helps us rise toward the surface keeping our roots planted deep in the mud. As we reach the top we emerge and open one petal at a time, to blossom fully in the sunlight.
I feel like I have been buried in mud and I am trying to find my way to the top of the surface so I may open fully with honesty, compassion, patience, and joy. I recently started seeing a therapist and now I feel like as I make my way toward the surface I have a helper that can help me navigate through or around obstacles.

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